Character Assassination
Sometimes I think you live in a world of your own
We looked out of the window at the police cordon surrounding the bank. Flashing lights and a plainclothes with a bullhorn. The getaway was nowhere to be seen… “Yeah I had him booked for double parking…moves the plot along nicely” “No the real problem is she’s stitched us up like a right fucking pair of kippers” “Leave your protagonists up shit creek without a paddle…first rule” The bullhorn clicked on, a wall of feedback. “Good evening Ladies, looks like we’ve got ourselves into a bit of a pickle” “He’s extracting the urine ain’t he?” “Okay so now what?” “Quick the teleporter bands!” “They haven’t been invented yet, you dumb fucker” “Working on it…” “Never mind that, close your eyes and wish yourself somewhere else…works in the movies” “It may have escaped your notice but we’re in deep shit and this ain’t no movie” “The whole of Life’s a Movie…she can edit it into the script later, right?” “Who me?” “Yeah you! Get busy scribbling bitch!” “And you, shut yer mouth, close yer eyes and get busy wishing, Tinker bell!” A couple of thousand rounds later. The doors blown off their hinges. The squad enters only to hear a mysterious whine and find a crime scene empty of perps…
“Damn that was close…wonder where they’ve got to ?” “and where the hell’s this then?” “Dunno, but I wish I had a cool beer” Pzisssstttt!…”there you go bud” “This waiting’s not so bad huh Do you think there’ll be snacks?” Tune in next week Same time, same channel for further astounding episodes of ‘Character Assasination!’ “Yes darling. Alright I’m coming! Well you could’ve started supper yourself, couldn’t you? There’s a pineapple pizza in the freezer. And did you take Bozo for his walk? No?” “Well, I dunno darling, Sometimes I think you live in a world of your own…” ~
Just kicking some ideas around…and some characters, in the nicest possible way, of course.
There’s a certain mutual tension between writers and their characters, I wanted to explore that a little bit…hope you enjoy reading, and if not, well, the music’s fun anyway…Sea 😘
Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash
"she’s stitched us up like a right fucking pair of kippers”
Have these particular words ever been uttered in each other's company in a sentence since the dawn of human kind? Hahaha! Love it
I love the trippy way you treated the time travel, which of course can allow for another trip to leave the things your characters need where they can grab them (i've used that trick myself ) and the dialogue - very British.