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Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Seajade,

This felt like being inside a mind mid-interrogation: sharp, fragmented, refusing to settle.

I love the way the questioning voice tries to pin things down while everything else keeps slipping form. The multiplicity, the infection imagery, the myth — it’s chaotic, but intentionally so.

And that final line?

“Only when I’m awake.”

That lands. Hard.

It doesn’t need explaining. It just sits there and aches.

Seajade's avatar

Thanks for the thoughtful response Mark.

It is intentionally chaotic because that’s what alien suggested to me at the time…bewilderment confusion bizarre invasion of mind and spirit.

It was also deliberate to leave the reader to find whatever they wanted from it… to fill in the gaps for themselves.

I could have edited it to read like a conventional story but I did what I did…left it hanging in space

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

And perfectly done!

The best stories are the ones the reader completes themselves 😊

Nora O’Dowd's avatar

Oh my, Sea! So very much. The worm and her insidious antics ( and that photo!) and all the twists and turns of interrogation and introspection. I need to read this a few more times. (Also, bless Kirsty 💕)

Seajade's avatar

Yes bless Kirsty 💔 and bless you for sharing, thanks Nora ✨😊🙏😘

Virginia Curtis's avatar

Such imagery! I'll be remembering this for some time. Thank you for sharing. Love, Virg

Seajade's avatar

Thanks Virginia,✨I’m glad it made a positive impact…thank you for reading and your feedback.

it is chaotic but it does land I think…I’m really pleased with it 😊🖤😘

Lily's avatar

Some great images here Sea.

Also 🫶 for this paragraph.

“I made my way here, here where the heart is…

And the lungs, the liver, the lights.

So very invitingly soft…

But most of all in the soul

Where his love for life dwells.”

Seajade's avatar

Thanks Lily…. I seem to be repeating myself a lot today lol 🙃🙃😂💛

Lily's avatar

It’s ok, it’s probably the wee hours there. I’m about to have dinner, Pad Thai! 🤤

Seajade's avatar

It’s mid afternoon here…time for a siesta, enjoy your pad Thai 😴

Drinkin' from a Paper Cup's avatar

I don't get it, but your concept is interesting as can be. Don't lose it. Pick it up again in a few month or years.